Items & Terminology

Throughout the history of the Thargoid and Fer-de-lance some unusal technology and terminology has been invented.. here we try to keep the facts in a handy and safe enviroment… you wouldn’t want to feed Frank a bottle of Janx now… hell no


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Item Database
Item NameBean Nut Stew
Pronounciation(food Item)
Description

Bean-nuts stew is made with the finest ingredients.

Bean Nuts

Curried Sprouts

Artificial Sweetener

Leesti Lentils.

 

Mix together and bring to the boil, simmer until the lentils absorb the liquid and serve hot.

 

SIDE EFFECTS:

After eating there is the usual gas ect and some hallucinations, but the eruptions are so powerful it causes the comsumer to change personalities


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Item Database
Item NameJanx
PronounciationJ - ANG - X
Description

Janx is a distilled alcoholic beverage. Related Information : It was made popular by Miners from Orion Beta who took the drink to other star systems as they looked for new asteroid belts to mine.

It is the subject of an old mining song which was transcribed by the great Douglas Adams:

" Oh don't give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit No,don't you give me none more of that Old Janx Spirit For my head will fly, my tongue will lie, my eyes will fry and I may die Won't you pour me one more of that sinful Old Janx Spirit "

It forms the base for the cocktail called the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster which has been likened to "having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick."

The effect of Old Janx Spirit is similar, but without the slice of lemon or the golden nature of the brick.

Janx is most popular on Independent systems. It has been copied by many different planets but the most famous copy is a drink called "Jinx" which originates from inside The Empire. Their citizens were too proud to admit that anything originating from outside The Empire could be any good.

Jinx has improved to a point where it is almost indistinguishable from Janx. Many Empire Citizens believe that Janx is a generic copy of Jinx and refer to it with that name. This difference in belief has been used a few times as a shibboleth to detect Imperial spies.

Item Database
Item NameJinx
PronounciationJ - ING - X
Description

Jinx is a distilled alcoholic beverage Related Inforation: An Imperial drink for the hardened commander looking for a way to damage their internal organs legally.

Often mistaken for the inferior Federation Janx, Jinx is considered a far more refined drink without the social implications of Janx.


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Item Database
Item NameImperial Nukie ale
PronounciationNew key Ale
Description

Imperial Nukie Ale almost resembles an old light brown ale bought to the Empire by scantily clothed natives on a hen night from the toon of Nukecastle, or thats what the Imperials thought the natives said in their strange language!

Anyway it was a big hit in the Empire and ship loads of crates are regularly bought in, although the Imperials still struggle with the natives dialect

"that will be a thousend creds fo` the yel, neeo wheor gan yen git sum stotties or singin` hinnies aroond heor lad?"

Nevertheless the Imperials invented a drink more approprate to its name, and so when ordering a Nukie ale the brown ale comes out as normal, but then a shot of highly volatile Lave Essence is added.

This creates a small mushroom explosion giving the ale a kick so strong that as far as anyone knows no one has ever drank more then FOUR! before passing out. 


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Item Database
Item NamePan Galactic Gargle Blaster
PronounciationDifficult after a few
Description

A cocktail of alcoholic beverages. Related Information : Outlawed in many systems after a number of deaths in commanders partaking of its nectary pickling flavours. Used in military medical procedures to sterilise instruments and to kill cancer cells or parasites.

Known side effects :
* Head Aches
* Loss of Memory
* Loss of Bodily Functions
* Permanent Loss of Sight
* Permanent Loss of Dignity
* Occaisional Loss of all belongings

Few Commanders remember drinking it, so it is considered a highly dangerous beverage.


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Terminology
TermShytespeed
pronounciationSh - iy - tit - sp - ee - d
Definition

A type of space travel created by a temporal rift in space caused by a gaseous explosion originating from the digestion of bean nuts.

Relevant Information:
           Was invented by an unknown scientist during a particular heavy bean nut filled meal.  After the meal he felt undue pressure in his gut and due to the excessive and expedient build up of gas, a large explosion resulted.  After which he experienced nausea, temporal re-location and severe anal burns.  

 The resulting anal burns have proven to be the biggest preventative for this to become an established method of space travel.  As far as records show only one person has managed to repetatively harness this method. Sadly his name has not been documented, rumoured to be a miner.

  Outlawed in Imperial space due to the noxious gas left after a successful jump.


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Item Database
Item NameThargoid Hot Curry Sauce
PronounciationThar-Goyd Hot Cu- Ree Sors
Description

It was originally developed as the ultimate hot curry. It has long been a favourite meal of Federation military personnel.

People describe the sensation of eating one as like swallowing plasma

Unfortunately it is also highly corrosive to ship systems as was demonstrated most dramaticaly during the 'Cydonia Incident'. This was the result of a faulty vending machine cauysing a massive leak of hot curry sauce. The Federation cruiser Cydonia was severely damaged by it and only saved by  the courageous actions of the crew.

The only thing known to neutralise it is lager.

It's explosive and corrosive properties are only exceeded by shytespeed technology, but it is much more available. Some scientists have speculated that feeding Thargoid Hot Curry Sauce to Frank could create a black hole, others think it would enhance shytespeed drives by 150%.


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