Category Archives: Barnard’s Star News

BS News Episode 11

All the Latest from the Barnard’s Star System.

Download BS News Live Episode 11 here

Intro Music with fireworks and cheering crowds

Teddy Ryde : Thousands celebrate as news of the Senators death reaches Federation space.

<News spike sound>

T: Good Evening, Im Teddy Ryde,
R: And I’m Randy Berger

T. Joyful celebrations across all of the Federal systems as it is confirmed that Heignst Duval was assassinated during his own wedding ceremony.
R: The stabbing came during part of the ceremony when the priest asked if anyone had any reason why these two people should not be joined in holy matromony and an orderly queue was formed. the question was obviously too hard for most people, but one high ranking official was heard saying ‘I’ll take a Stab at that’
T:The high ranking official at the rear of the line, then took the holy matromony to a more literal realisation as he attempted to make a number of holes in the Emperor. Before starting a chant “I’m fast, you’re dead, there’s a knife stuck in your head” he was shot dead, decapitated and electrocuted by the Emperor’s bodyguards. Guests of the ceremony then took turns urinating on the Emperor’s assassin, one member of the senate believed to be from the Prism system even tried to catapult him.
R: The Emperor has long been a fashion setter for the imperials and several high ranking imperial families are now sporting the now in fashion stab holes through various body parts, accessoriesed by silver plated knifes
T: The Emperor was rushed away for emergency treatment, but unfortunately he died before they could attempt to make him less of an arsehole. The Funeral will probably be a massively boring affair, but FDTV will be running a special edition of Its A Knockout where teams wearing huge inflatable Imperial Senator Outfits will attempt to re-enact the successful assassination.
R: Now we have breaking news, Asling Duval flashed her knickers at reporters as she attempted to get into a vehicle, we can now confirm the rug matches the curtains. And thats all for now, we now return you to your previously scheduled program, When squeee goes bad…….

T: and I’m Teddy Ryde

T&R : Goodnight..

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